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臨床心理學家 黃詠詩
- Jul 11, 2018
我是不是好媽咪？ - 爸媽的情緒需要
有一位家長那天問道，與患有專注力不足症 (ADHD) 的兒子做功課，她忍不住對兒子發了很大的脾氣，兒子事後在房裡哭泣，令她非常內疚，她問我，自己對孩子發了大脾氣，還算是好媽咪嗎？ 相信不少爸媽也會認同，對著家中的小孩子，每天都會有新挑戰，有時碰著自己身心疲倦的日子，就未必可以每每正面處理孩子的種種情況。專家教的正面管教，有時候難免未能用得著。 先處理情緒 後處理事情 其實爸爸媽媽也是正常人，我們有情緒需要也是合理的。如發現自己與孩子處理日常生活問題時，開始「忟憎」，也是你需要從那個情況得到「小休」的時間，讓自己調節好心情，才管理孩子的情況。 如何讓自己「小休」 如果爸媽希望在管教的繃緊(tension)中，讓自己得到小休。我們可以告訴孩子自己的感受，例如我感到現在我想靜一下，才去孩子不在的地方 (如廁所、房間)。這樣可以幫助你小休之餘，也令孩子理解到你不是無原無故理開他。當我們在獨處的空間小休時，我們可以嘗試做深呼吸，或是平日常用的放鬆方法。 當我們可以讓自己的情緒平靜下來，我們才可好好使用平日學到的育兒技巧。同時我們也為孩子建立了好的情緒處理榜
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